Coda to my Deneuve Post

Just grabbed a used copy of Belle de Jour on Amazon (with Prime shipping no less!) for 2 bucks. It's the first DVD I've bought in almost 8 months. It reminds me of the more or less forgotten (or, perhaps more accurately, sidelined) pleasure I get from buying in "hard copy" the movies and shows I truly love - immediately on checking out I was driven to go back and search for Les Choiristes and Umbrellas of Cherbourg.
 ---
And edit: Umbrellas is apparently so out of print a used copy is cheap at $22? Lock up your copy, Mom and Dad - that piece of knowledge is probably enough to kill my last objection to appropriating it.

May the Odds be Ever in Your Favor!

So as someone who recently read all three Hunger Games novels back-to-back (during that whole "family crisis that really makes reading for prelims tough" period of the summer), I have to say that the casting report, as listed on Wiki, seems pretty amazing - down to Elizabeth Banks as Effie Trinket. And I can't believe I'm even saying this, since I actually didn't think the books were that good outside the raw concept and some innovative details and in fact that they suffer from a distinct lack of sexuality in terms of their ability to connect with the teenage experience (now where was I? oh yeah), but I kind of can't wait to see who they cast as Finnick Odair - the sexy, trident-wielding, fetish-for-madness, 24-year-old victor who looms large in books 2 and 3. And I'm a bit ashamed of myself for it, needless to say.

Also - I'm still torn between embracing and hating Jennifer Lawrence. On the one hand, she's taken some bold roles and so far seems to be doing her best to steer clear of the overt objectification so many Hollywood starlets her age fall into. On the other - bitch is 20 YEARS OLD. How dare she?!?!

Random Thought from a Hot and Sticky Writing Day

You know, I love Blink 182's "I Miss You." I did the first time I heard it years ago at AU and I still do. I find it heart-wrenching, actually - which seems like the last phrase you'd use to describe a Blink song, especially from a 2011 vantage point, but it's true nonetheless. It's so starkly emotional, so straightforward, with the contrast between the deeper mellowed first verse and the more Blink-ish rasp of those following...

I don't know. It gets me. It feels so sad. Hopeless before she even hears it.

----

In news closely enough related I decided to append it here rather than devoting another tiny post to it - I've decided to add "In the Aeroplane Over the Sea" by Neutral Milk Hotel to my list of all-time favorite songs.

Thanks a lot, Emily

Forget ever hearing the tune without also hearing these lyrics - I may never stop having them stuck racing through my head. (Do I secretly find this fact deliciously geeky? Yes. Am I therefore fully pleased about this? No.)

Ode to Catherine Deneuve

She's amazing for some many reasons. Her acting is strong, her choice of roles varied without being crazed and directionless, her presence and sense of self constant. But perhaps what I find most notably remarkable about her is the way she's let reality touch her beauty at nearly every stage of her career.

For example, tonight I saw her in Potiche, a cute fairy-tale account of a bourgeouise housewife in her 50s reinventing herself in the light of new-wave feminism. And unlike so many American actresses of her age, she looked her age. And yet still beautiful.

But her beauty-as-reality extends as far back as Belle de Jour, probably the role in which she was most highly sexualized. Take this frame - you'd never see such openly real depiction of a film's sexual heart today:

Her body looks real - something unheard of today (even in European cinema, I would argue - at least among ingenue shots).

...as I'm writing this I realize that much of what I'm arguing is as much or more about the conventions of the times or the region as about Deneuve herself. But because I find her so incredibly beautiful, so talented, so strong an onscreen presence, it heightens the effect for me. She's gorgeous at all ages even when she looks less than contemporary-Hollywood-perfect. And I find that both engaging and oddly empowering - like a look behind the veil.

I got to get myself a copy of Belle de Jour.

Priorities

I'm watching the first episode of The Walking Dead (itself a commentary on my priorities) and amidst the zombies, mayhem, shoot-outs etc I find myself most in awe of how incredibly warm and pleasant the weather there looks. That seems like the most unrealistic thing.

Thoughts from today

1. The clock turned to 9:00 just as I looked up at it to see if I needed to go to the liquor store. God damn Madison and their stupid laws.

2. I went to the gym today! (This was #1 until the wine thing. Friggin' A.) I'm genuinely proud of myself. I've been saying I'll go practically every single day for weeks now, but last night I was like "...alright, you can do better than this, Becca." And so I went. Even though I almost had a panic attack in the locker room because I'm getting anxious about my own work and my students are crushing my spirit in every way and I  hadn't worked out in ages and was scared I'd be shockingly weak. And as pretty much anyone including myself could have told me, it was great. I'm not even as criminally out of shape as I thought. So Imma try and make that a thing. Going again tomorrow...

3. As mentioned above, teaching is kiiiiind of killing me lately. I feel like I've spent a quarter of my waking hours this semester commenting on papers, I've genuinely spent hours and hours planning and preparing for this class - but lately it's just...not good. There's a few kids who just are clearly not taking the class seriously, a lot of them aren't reading, and this week I just...couldn't think of what to do about it, let alone what to do *with* them in class. Sigh. I just emailed their grades on the first paper back though, and I suspect that the attitudes of some of them will change fairly quickly. Surprise! Just because I said I'm always willing to work with you because I want you all to do well does not mean I'm going to give you an A for slapping five new sentences in your draft and calling it a revision - especially since 3 of them are run-ons. Sheesh. I know I'm chill in class, but come on.

4. As a result of #3, I'm not commenting on any of their (new) drafts tonight. I can't handle any more right now. I need them done by Monday night, but that's doable even so. So soon I will call it a night and attempt to pretend the beers in my fridge are something other than Pabst. Pabst Light. (Stupid, stupid Madsion...)

5.  My cats are particularly awesome lately. They often cuddle, but lately it's just been a whole new level of affectionate adorableness. And I was incredibly pleased by all the attention they got at my party last weekend - especially from AK, who validated me in a huge way by saying that Polo smells particularly good for a cat. Though I'm less charmed by Penny's new habit of opening and closing the cabinets loudly in the middle of the night. We've been Scotch-taping them so far but that's not a viable long-term solution, so I'm going to have to go around and screw child locks into them all at some point. Because I've just got SO much time on my hands that I needed another home improvement project.

6. I still need stuff on my bedroom walls in a major way. I bought some frames cheap at Target to work on the problem, but the major issue - above my bed - remains unresolved.  And I'm not happy with the furniture layout yet either. The bed's new spot is good, but now I think I need another night table to create some symmetry. And another lamp for it. The windows also need at least a basic white curtain. I'm still not sure how best to do it with the three of them together, but I'm leaning towards a basic valance and two extra-long white tie-back panels. When this will all happen I have no idea, but it's a semi-priority...I don't like not liking my bedroom. At least 2/3 need to get done this term.

7. Community is hilarious. I'm working through season 1 and I'm so hooked. I find it strangely realistic for something so over-the-top...taken alone, all the characters are eerily plausible. Except Senor Chang. And the dean.

8. Going to NH for Thanksgiving! I'll be gone a few days longer than is responsible, but I haven't had a Thanksgiving with the entire family in a long time, so I'm excited.

9. I think at this point I have to just accept and embrace the fact that there's something about Brandon Flowers that I am powerless to resist. Or his voice and general musical aesthetic, anyhow. His solo album? Couldn't tell you if it's actually any good. Don't have any favorite tracks so far, after 4-5 listens while working. But I know I don't not like it.

10. I still need to buy those damn Ben Folds tix

Songs I Forgot to Mention

"Past and Pending," The Shins: Never fails to make me feel peaceful in my life, if only for five minutes and twenty-two seconds.

"Electric Feel," MGMT: The theme song to my trip to LA, the best vacation I've ever had. I could count on my fingers the number of times I've listened to it since then - it's a wonderful song, but it evokes the feelings of that trip so strongly that I'm reluctant to weaken that power by invoking it too often.

"The Dream of Evan and Chan," Dntel: Can't believe I forgot this the first time around. How can a song be both a perfect account of the sensible nonsense that is the most vivid and emotional of dreams and also so incredibly universal? It's always perfect until something rings to bring you back to this world of concrete and pragmatism. "I won't let go, I won't let go/even if you say so oh no..."It's a wrenching anthem to snooze buttons, essentially - the heartrending description of why you wish you could have slept just a few minutes more, why you tried so hard to stay asleep a little longer. To the best kind of dreams - the ones that inspired Inception, the ones that serve as the subconscious spark to the castles you build in the air when you just can't read anymore and need to lean back in your chair and shut your eyes.

I think it's telling that at this current place in my life, these three songs evoke the strongest emotional response of any of those I've listed in this blog - the three I forgot. This actually could serve as a litmus test for how well people know me - putting a finger on the reason the songs that move me the most did not get discussed in my initial posting.

...well, maybe "the strongest" is in itself a little strong. Because now I'm listening to "Alone in Kyoto" and lord in heaven do I wish I could Delorean myself back to that evening. I might have felt even lower then than I do now, but at least it was a low that held a future inside it.

I Solemnly Swear I am Totally Awesome

From GChat:

Jamie:  you, madam, really know how to take an idea and run with it

...four years later, and I've still got it. Miss those guys so much. 
 ------
Also, on a totally unrelated note: One of my major, major pet peeves is when TV or movies show people enhancing images in a way that's COMPLETELY unrealistic. The best example I can think of off the top of my head is in FlashForward, where the FBI image tech enhances a frame of a man in a baseball stadium taken by a stadium security camera from the other side of the field enough to see the ring on his finger. I mean what the fuck. Even my 4-year-old cousin knows how megapixels work. Come on. 


However, I just watched The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, and was pleasantly surprised to see the main character coax hitherto unnoticed detail from an old photograph in a more or less realistic way. I think he even uses iPhoto (apparently the Swedes love Apple stuff, btw). I knew the scene was coming and was all primed to call bullshit (or "shenanigans" as my new blog obsession would say), but it actually looked like something one could recreate in real life.


The whole movie was like that, actually - eerily real-looking. The actors are handsome/pretty when appropriate. People have pockmarks, wrinkles, signs of aging - even the "sexy" female characters. And on and on. Given the nature of the film, this lends everything a suuuuper creepy sense of possibility. Hollywood take note.

How does "Dr. Rebecca Murphy" sound?

Oh. Hells. Yes.

Sorry NPH, but you've been dethroned. (At least for the time being - let's be realistic here.) I'd be all over this man in the hottest of hot seconds. Yikes. I'm actually thrilled I had no clue he was going to be in the movie - I was so excited I almost squealed when he came on.

I mean no I didn't! I behaved in a demure and totally cool way as is befitting the future wife of such a tall, dark and hunky dude.












Oh yeah - all the non-Cillian Murphy bits of Inception were awesome as well.

Music Affairs: Albums that are Made of Awesome, Part I

Disclaimer: Don't interpret the following long and self-indulgent stroll down my musical memory lane as an indicator that I think I'm so interesting and cool that you'd all want to read a novella about my taste in albums. I just really enjoy thinking about this kind of thing lately and having a record to look back on later. And it's cathartic as all hell.

I guess that applies to my entire blog - and most people's, I would hazard. I could and likely will eventually write a meta-esque entry about how I think keeping a journal is the best thing since sliced bread, but for now - albums!

-------------

Looking at the list now, even this half, I'm thinking I should arrange them in some kind of order. But that's a lot of cutting and pasting for this lazy girl, so I'll leave it as it is - in the order I thought of them. Part II forthcoming.

Rufus Wainwright, Release the Stars: Yet another album I came to love in Limoges. It's interesting to me how many albums there are from my year there on this list. Songs too, really. I think it's because I spent like 40% of the time I wasn't sleeping or working walking around the city listening to music. I spent more time listening to music in those 10 months than in any other, and it shows on both lists. The moral is clear, I guess - want to find music you adore? Listen to a lot! - but somehow I haven't gotten back on that wagon. Anyways...kind of like with Crane Wife, Release the Stars doesn't necessarily have my favorite Rufus songs on it. In fact, it positively does not. (BTW, in no real order: "Poses," "Do I Disappoint You," "Greek Song," "Beauty Mark"...ok there are way too many to list, but "What a World" is probably tops.) Part of the reason this album has such a place in my heart is because it's clearly not his masterpiece. Yeah, there's some impressive stuff here. For example, "Do I Disappoint You" is a really, really complex and impressive track; I seem to recall reading that it has an ungodly number of tracks and that the Roofster himself mixed them all as well as writing all the instrumental parts. "Between My Legs" (though I vaguely recall critics being down on it) is a different style for him that, through its complex layers of tracks and rising and falling energy and engagingly weird lyrics ("...and I'll shed a tear between my legs" - what. the. fuck). But unlike Want One or Want Two, this album sticks in my mind not as the vehicle for a few great tunes, but as one whole thing. Which is to me what defines a favorite album. Yes there's the inevitable "Nobody's Off the Hook" or two, but (and I'm quickly realizing this is almost as much a function of how I approached the album as of its contents) when at the end of any given song from this album, my brain fills in the beginning of the next track and is shaken for a fraction of a second when I realize that no, you're not listening to the album, the next song is actually "Shake Your Groove Thing." But I love Release as much for its musical merit as for its nostalgic mystery - even if there are for sure some weaker spots. (I mean, it's not Sam's Town - see below.)

Fiona Apple, Tidal: Hands down one of the most formative, influential and beloved albums of my life. I forget if she gave me a copy or if I bought my own, but either way it was my friend Laine who got me into the album. And we *loved* that CD. It was perfect for us at the time - musically rich, controversial (see: "Criminal" video, aka the sexiest music video of all time), and FULL of emotional songs about dudes. And as will come as zero surprise to most people who know me, I was *constantly* emo about some dude (usually my first bf, upon whom I was "totally crushing!" for years). And Laine was too. So between us we must have "OMG I've been listening to [insert song] all day because it TOTALLY sums up things with [insert dude]" over at least 2/3 of the album. I think possibly even the song that I realized later is blatantly about the time she was raped. So that's weird. But I do genuinely love this album for its own sake. Her voice is so beautiful, and the songs just kind of...wash over me when I listen to it. It's stilling and stirring all at once. I sang "Never is a Promise" in my school's big talent show senior year, and various others for various other concerts...they're good solo candidates because they make it so easy on you. The emotion is written right in.


Pete Yorn, Musicforthemorningafter: Imma come right on and say it - I love Pete Yorn. I love him. I even loved Nightcrawler, despite it's being *incredibly* uneven. I know a lot of people are like "meh, another singer-songwriter," but I love his voice and I love his lyrics. And his guitar. And his sexy, sexy hair. True story: I *finally* had tickets to see him this fall and then forgot until the day before that it was a Tuesday and I had to work in the Writing Center. *sob* Like many of these, it combines genuine musical appeal with good associations; I bought this album my first summer in college, a summer of waiting tables, hanging out on the Cape, and feeling independent. They also played it in Tryst (my favorite DC coffee place), so it smacks of evening work sessions and delicious, delicious chai. The MOST delicious chai. And everyone knows that's what gives an album staying power.

The Postal Service, Give Up: For sure on of my Desert Island Discs. There's so much going for it, especially to me personally: opens with a song about DC, light and easy to listen to as background, good lyrics, and original (or it was at the time). And perhaps most importantly, it was (along with Yoshimi and the Garden State soundtrack) music I fell in love to. I actually stopped listening to it for almost a year for just that reason, but that only gave it staying power. And despite the nostalgia factor, it has really aged well for me. Back then my favorite tracks were "Nothing Better," "Natural Anthem" and "Such Great Heights;" now it's "District Sleeps Alone" and "Brand New Colony" all the way. God, "District." I'm still not sure I entirely understand what it's about ("And I am finally seeing/That I was the one worth leaving"...what exactly does that mean?) but damn can it fill me with slightly melancholy-tinged peace every time. (But my all-time #1 Postal Service song is "The Dream of Evan and Chan," which is possibly the perfect song and, I am realizing now, a glaring omission from my earlier music post.)


DC Talk, Jesus Freak: Yeah yeah I used to listen to contemporary Christian music and even had a subscription to CCM back in the day. A lot of the music I liked back then was crap I would not be caught dead having in my iTunes library let alone in my ears. But I actually think Jesus Freak is a pretty sweet album. And I'll admit it - I still occasionally listen to some stuff off it. "In the Light" is a great 90s song! Plus I have soooooo many fond memories of watching Tim King playing it at youth group and feeling the Spirit/lusting after him. (Sometimes I think as much as 30% of my religious fervor back then was just repressed longing for all the *incredibly* hot Christian dudes with whom I was constantly surrounded. Man they were smoking. But as a result I've come to associate any guy holding a guitar with enforced abstinence.) It's exactly what a Christan album should be - fervent, stirring, and secular-sounding enough to be relateable for people under 30. I mean, they manage to rap the story of John the Baptist in a way that isn't (entirely) laughable.  It might even be a better verse than those of "Empire State." (It also refers to the Pharisees as "tripping," which I adore.)

Maroon 5, Songs for Jane: The position of this album on the list is tenuous, because GOD they overplayed it. However, the musical boner I had for this when it came out would make Lexington Steel blush, so I felt it had to be included. I used to go out for drives at night just so I could listen to it (since that was back when I could fill my gas tank with the change I found in the couch cushions). And it's full of great tracks - it made them famous for a reason, I feel. "She Will Be Loved," despite being so overplayed my ears bleed anytime it comes on, is beautiful. True story: right after they played this when I saw them at 930 Adam pointed out a couple that had been making out through the whole song; we all thought he was going to embarrass them horribly, but in fact he said he dug it, and that's why he wrote the song.  (I too may have fogged a few car windows with that baby playing.) And I still work out to "Harder to Breathe" from time to time - by FAR one of the sexiest songs I can think of. And then there's "Sunday Morning." And "Not Coming Home." I couldn't contain my love for this album and pushed it on everyone I saw; I actually have a memory of giving a mid-40s gas station attendant the hard sell. (Who am I kidding - I do that kind of thing all the time. See: the Kindle, my hairstylist, living on the East side, minoring in Comp/Rhet, etc.) The best part is that I got into them like ten minutes before they blew up, which put me in the rare position of being able to play Musical Elitist. For all my scorn of those people, I completely understand them - the warmth I feel inside when someone I've loved blows up is both shaming and incredibly sweet. Also, to use an Andyism: Adam Levine looks like someone I'd like to go on a bad date with. So. Hot. Jamie and I went through a period sophomore spring (aka The Best Semester Of All Time Ever For Serious) where we watched the video for "This Love" conservatively once a day for two weeks.

Gavin Degraw, Chariot: Now here's someone I was legitimately listening to for ages before he got big. And though I know he's not an artist who gives my musical taste a lot of cred, I will freely admit to thinking he's sweet. (Though his newer stuff is less impressive.) I saw him open for Maroon 5, then went out and bought his CD immediately the following day because I could not get "Chariot" out of my head for love or money. And like nearly all the albums on this list, nearly all the tracks are really strong. And of course, at the time there were two or three of them that made me all "oh em gee, this totally describes some aspect of my current 19-year-old life!" (I'm looking at you, "Follow Through.") He's also really great live - big smiles, makes his audience feel involved and loved, funny, and just generally looks like he loves what he's doing. (Except for the time he played at the AU student center, when he was not nearly as into it. I lost a little love then, but it's hard to blame him - at that point he was at the height of his popularity, so I can see how playing for an audience of 100 college kids in a glorified food court might not get the adrenalin pumping.) [Edit: So I just realized I left out my #1 story about Why Gavin Degraw is a Cool Dude: when I saw him at 930 the second time, he waited around after the show for at least 2 hours so that everyone who wanted to could meet him. At this time I had a *major* crush on him, bigger than I have ever had on a musician since. Like, rivaling Jessie's love of Andrew Bird. So when I met him I tried to play cool, but my friend Kate outed me and was basically like, "she's playing it cool but in fact she wants to have your babies." And I was like "...yeah, it's true. I even did The FanGirl." Which he then asked me to demonstrate (rapt look, one hand on heart and the other extended towards the stage, usually while shrieking). Upon seeing this he laughed, gave me a huuuuge hug and a heartbreaking smile and ruined me for other men. So that's why he rocks.]

Writing up this list has really highlighted how much the death of Napster changed my music habits. The fact that you downloaded single songs as opposed to albums meant that when you fell in love with a new artist and wanted to dl all their songs, you didn't necessarily end up with any complete albums - and it certainly was not in order. So while I absolutely loved Elliot Smith and listened the crap out of many, many of his songs, I never had a sense of his work as being albums. Same goes for everything by Ryan Adams that's not Rock and Roll, a lot of Ben Folds, pre-Keep it Together Guster (which will be making an appearance in part II), every Beyonce track I've ever had, and on and on. God. Napster was the shit, wasn't it? It also makes me realize that I should go to more concerts. Like I needed reminding.

 Next time: the rest of the Limoges collection and the Summer of Love, plus a few newbies. And the Romeo and Juliet soundtrack, oddly. But I stand by it!