What the HELL is going on with my writing process???? And of course it's like trying to fall asleep...once you starting worrying about it consciously it becomes ten times harder to do.
Lame. Lamelamelamelame.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Monday, November 23, 2009
But a Step in Which Direction Exactly?
Today I realized that there's been a percentage flip in my clothing choices each day: where I used to go for cute over comfort 75% of the time and comfort 25%, I now do the opposite. If that.
I'm not sure what, if anything, this means about my current life situation. I think I shall choose to interpret it as a need for more cute clothes and shop accordingly on Friday. Mostly to stave off the creeping panic fed by the cats and my growing shut-in lifestyle that I'm going to wake up 70 years old any day now.
I'm not sure what, if anything, this means about my current life situation. I think I shall choose to interpret it as a need for more cute clothes and shop accordingly on Friday. Mostly to stave off the creeping panic fed by the cats and my growing shut-in lifestyle that I'm going to wake up 70 years old any day now.
Friday, November 20, 2009
Random Notes
- My writing center shifts have been going well lately, despite having 9 hours/wk these past three weeks instead of six. The CRC shifts have been slow, which is ideal because it lets me do some reading and sometimes give the people who do come some extra time; the Wednesday night shifts have been a good balance of reoccuring meetings with people I've enjoyed helping (an early-30s elementary school vice principal with a great project idea but cutely afraid to start writing his lit review for fear of making a mistake, a cute and incredibly smart Chilean woman doing a PhD in development studies whose English writing skill amaze and shame me), undergrads coming in for various papers, and no-shows. Fridays have been similar. It's a small thing, but it really makes me happy when people come back to see me - unlike working with students, you don't usually get to see the result of your work with WC students, whether or not you actually helped them, so their coming back can be a nice affirmation. I mean, they wouldn't come back if it wasn't helping, right? Except this one kid, poor guy - I keep trying to help him with papers for this one English class, he's been to see me and a few other WC people like 10 times for that class and he's still doing so poorly he needs extra credit. I think that's a personal problem between him and the prof though - and I don't deal with personal problems. (What's that from?)
I love working in the writing center.
- My cats, though I love them still, are beginning to annoy me as well. Polo's gotten really bad about getting up in my business when I'm trying to type. From a recent email to Jamie: "He's got two approaches: The British Colonial Technique, where he just barges right onto it with his enormous self and tries to gain territory with sheer attack power, and The French Colonial Technique, where he lies down riiiight next to it and lolls his head onto the side of it so he's not actually *on* it but his fur is obstructing two columns of keys, then slooooowly edges over. He's like "you don't need that W, do you? Wouldn't you rather have MY HAIR ALL UP IN YOUR GRILL!" Lately he'll even nip our fingers if we try to type while we should so clearly (in his mind) be petting him. Considering the number of pages I have to type in the next...oh, 25 days or so (approx 60, not including student paper comments), this is poor timing on his part.
Also, though he's by no means a glutton, he is causing food problems in our household. Since I'm both lazy and not good at remembering to do things (ie, the VS return sitting all packaged and everything in my closet, ten million other things), I just fill the food bowls and forget about it until I notice they are empty. This seemed to work fine, but for the past few weeks I've been thinking that Polo's gaining weight and Penny's losing it; yesterday I decided this was definitely the case. When he sits up with paws in front, there's about an inch more cat on either side, and Penny is getting Aiko-sized. So, though it is a pain, I'm going to start feeding them seperately. I'm not so worried about Polo losing weight, he's far from problematically fat (he's a *big* cat), but he shouldn't gain more, and Penny should. So tonight I gave them wet food, gave Penny more, and brought her and the food in the office with me until she finished. We'll see if I have the follow-thorugh to keep this up.
- I need to work on final papers. It's not even that I don't want to - I just haven't and must.
- Getting excited for Thanksgiving at Jevin's! It's my first Madison Thanksgiving, and I am looking forward to it suddenly. It's not that I was not before, but I hadn't realized how *close* it was. And then driving Kevin home we got to talking about turkey and stuffing and cranberry sauce and garlic mashed potatoes and a cheese course and loads of wine and OMG it's in five days. FIVE. DAYS. It's going to be so awesome. I kind of wish I had a t-shirt: "Thanksgiving 2009 - The Last Supper." It being "last" because after that (well, and the post-TG shopping Friday) life ends and lifeless, slavish devotion to school begins. But til then, give me gravy and fill my glass.
- I work late now a lot more than I used to. Meaning now the trick is reclaiming the day, not the night. Why can't I get it right and do both?
- Bought my Xmas tix! NH the 20th - 31st. I am really, really excited, and a little nervous...you can never go home again, after all. It's been 2 1/2 years, I know things have changed there, I've changed...will it be just wonderful or a little painful too? Even the first drive...arriving at MHT, drive past the Executive, get on 93 and take it to the Macy's exit, down Meetinghouse past St. Elizabeth, through the five-way stop, past Jeb's, left on 101 down, right at Vista to Wallace...then past the Benedictine Land (my God, the Benedictine Land), the turn for Adam's house, Shirley Hill (my God, Shirley Hill...) into Goffstown, then on past Sean's and Tim King's and finally to my uncle's house. I've worked hard to miss NH less, to move on and make WI my home, to grow up and in doing so accept that the past can't stay in the present, but damn...it's gonna be good to know that just because it's not around doesn't mean it's not there.
Also - my cousins? Friggin' adorable. I absolutely cannot WAIT.
- Blogging is a great way to procrastinate.
I love working in the writing center.
- My cats, though I love them still, are beginning to annoy me as well. Polo's gotten really bad about getting up in my business when I'm trying to type. From a recent email to Jamie: "He's got two approaches: The British Colonial Technique, where he just barges right onto it with his enormous self and tries to gain territory with sheer attack power, and The French Colonial Technique, where he lies down riiiight next to it and lolls his head onto the side of it so he's not actually *on* it but his fur is obstructing two columns of keys, then slooooowly edges over. He's like "you don't need that W, do you? Wouldn't you rather have MY HAIR ALL UP IN YOUR GRILL!" Lately he'll even nip our fingers if we try to type while we should so clearly (in his mind) be petting him. Considering the number of pages I have to type in the next...oh, 25 days or so (approx 60, not including student paper comments), this is poor timing on his part.
Also, though he's by no means a glutton, he is causing food problems in our household. Since I'm both lazy and not good at remembering to do things (ie, the VS return sitting all packaged and everything in my closet, ten million other things), I just fill the food bowls and forget about it until I notice they are empty. This seemed to work fine, but for the past few weeks I've been thinking that Polo's gaining weight and Penny's losing it; yesterday I decided this was definitely the case. When he sits up with paws in front, there's about an inch more cat on either side, and Penny is getting Aiko-sized. So, though it is a pain, I'm going to start feeding them seperately. I'm not so worried about Polo losing weight, he's far from problematically fat (he's a *big* cat), but he shouldn't gain more, and Penny should. So tonight I gave them wet food, gave Penny more, and brought her and the food in the office with me until she finished. We'll see if I have the follow-thorugh to keep this up.
- I need to work on final papers. It's not even that I don't want to - I just haven't and must.
- Getting excited for Thanksgiving at Jevin's! It's my first Madison Thanksgiving, and I am looking forward to it suddenly. It's not that I was not before, but I hadn't realized how *close* it was. And then driving Kevin home we got to talking about turkey and stuffing and cranberry sauce and garlic mashed potatoes and a cheese course and loads of wine and OMG it's in five days. FIVE. DAYS. It's going to be so awesome. I kind of wish I had a t-shirt: "Thanksgiving 2009 - The Last Supper." It being "last" because after that (well, and the post-TG shopping Friday) life ends and lifeless, slavish devotion to school begins. But til then, give me gravy and fill my glass.
- I work late now a lot more than I used to. Meaning now the trick is reclaiming the day, not the night. Why can't I get it right and do both?
- Bought my Xmas tix! NH the 20th - 31st. I am really, really excited, and a little nervous...you can never go home again, after all. It's been 2 1/2 years, I know things have changed there, I've changed...will it be just wonderful or a little painful too? Even the first drive...arriving at MHT, drive past the Executive, get on 93 and take it to the Macy's exit, down Meetinghouse past St. Elizabeth, through the five-way stop, past Jeb's, left on 101 down, right at Vista to Wallace...then past the Benedictine Land (my God, the Benedictine Land), the turn for Adam's house, Shirley Hill (my God, Shirley Hill...) into Goffstown, then on past Sean's and Tim King's and finally to my uncle's house. I've worked hard to miss NH less, to move on and make WI my home, to grow up and in doing so accept that the past can't stay in the present, but damn...it's gonna be good to know that just because it's not around doesn't mean it's not there.
Also - my cousins? Friggin' adorable. I absolutely cannot WAIT.
- Blogging is a great way to procrastinate.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Good Deal
So today is a good day.
I've been feeling kind of "????" about the coming end-of-semester craze. Usually I collect paper ideas for classes throughout the semester, and by around this time know what I'm writing on for everything. This year though, I had zero clue about any of them until recently. I had some vague subject ideas - "Cranford and...foreign things" - but nothing close to focused. And I was getting a little freaked.
But these past 4 or 5 days, things have really been coming together. Turns out that when I get myself in gear, I can do things! My Russ abstract got the go-ahead; yet again I'm writing about the issue of children and agency - but this time through propaganda! (Analyzing it...not writing it.) As so often happens, I wrote myself into an idea, and then into being excited about it. I was dreading that paper, but less so now. I picked and read a bunch of my review book for Susan. I wrote a short paper for class tomorrow that I'm pleased with - it's different from how/what I usually write for classes, and that's a nice feeling, doing something new. My meeting with Deb, Tim and Leigh today was miraculous - I went in with like, almost literally nothing, and by talking through what I'm interested in doing and getting ideas and feedback, I ended up leaving with a solid idea for my project. (I'm going a proposal for a study about how students' tacit learning of written genres is affected if they feel that the genre in question has an expiration date for being useful in their lives. And Deb is so cool - I asked her if there might be a way to frame it so I could carry out the study as my project for her class next semester; she said she didn't think it was really related to literacies, but that she'd definitely be happy to have me do it if I wanted to, if I thought it would be productive. Yay supportive teachers excited about my research!)
I bought tickets to NH today! I am so excited. It's like...there are definitely specific people and places I want to go, but I'm almost more excited about just driving around and seeing the places that were once so much a part of my daily life. Elm Street, South Willow, Meetinghouse, the Vista Foods plaza, the drive down Wallace Road between my uncle's and Bedford...man, it's been so long. I was there very briefly in July '07, so it's been 2 1/2 years. It'll really be great.
So yeah. I'll probably be back to freaking out tomorrow or something, but right now things look almost doable.
I've been feeling kind of "????" about the coming end-of-semester craze. Usually I collect paper ideas for classes throughout the semester, and by around this time know what I'm writing on for everything. This year though, I had zero clue about any of them until recently. I had some vague subject ideas - "Cranford and...foreign things" - but nothing close to focused. And I was getting a little freaked.
But these past 4 or 5 days, things have really been coming together. Turns out that when I get myself in gear, I can do things! My Russ abstract got the go-ahead; yet again I'm writing about the issue of children and agency - but this time through propaganda! (Analyzing it...not writing it.) As so often happens, I wrote myself into an idea, and then into being excited about it. I was dreading that paper, but less so now. I picked and read a bunch of my review book for Susan. I wrote a short paper for class tomorrow that I'm pleased with - it's different from how/what I usually write for classes, and that's a nice feeling, doing something new. My meeting with Deb, Tim and Leigh today was miraculous - I went in with like, almost literally nothing, and by talking through what I'm interested in doing and getting ideas and feedback, I ended up leaving with a solid idea for my project. (I'm going a proposal for a study about how students' tacit learning of written genres is affected if they feel that the genre in question has an expiration date for being useful in their lives. And Deb is so cool - I asked her if there might be a way to frame it so I could carry out the study as my project for her class next semester; she said she didn't think it was really related to literacies, but that she'd definitely be happy to have me do it if I wanted to, if I thought it would be productive. Yay supportive teachers excited about my research!)
I bought tickets to NH today! I am so excited. It's like...there are definitely specific people and places I want to go, but I'm almost more excited about just driving around and seeing the places that were once so much a part of my daily life. Elm Street, South Willow, Meetinghouse, the Vista Foods plaza, the drive down Wallace Road between my uncle's and Bedford...man, it's been so long. I was there very briefly in July '07, so it's been 2 1/2 years. It'll really be great.
So yeah. I'll probably be back to freaking out tomorrow or something, but right now things look almost doable.
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