I Took the Polaroid Down in My Room

This is a lame, stupid thing to post after so much silence, but you know what kind of irks me? I was never nor will ever be as tiny as Ellen Page is in Juno (pre-knockup, of course), and it galls me.

On the school front, things progress. It's like running a race where you don't give a shit about what place you come in, you just want to finish the whole thing without any walking. In the end it might have been better done with some sort of walk/sprint combo, but at the time you're committed to the slow jog strategy.

...even my metaphors blow. Oh well, ten days til DC. W00t.

Naturalism in Action

I really, really like Sister Carrie. Is this because I find her creepily relatable? Probably.

This weekend lacked productivity, but it was a lot of fun. So I guess that's ok.

Hmmm

After having like, four people comment on it in three days, I must conclude that perhaps I am not myself lately.

Anyhow. Predicted high of ONE DEGREE on Sunday. That translates roughly to "fuck if I'm leaving the house." Maybe a 20% chance I go to Thieves, but...yeah. I'm stocking up on soda, DVDs and work ethic. (Which one is a joke? Bonus points if you can tell.)

Been looking at lots of pictures from the past few years lately, and it makes me feel old. Although I guess we still have fun...there have been some memorable nights in Madison, after all. I can't wait for it to be nice again...the fact that it's likely I'll leave the state on trips to warmer places THREE TIMES before the weather here approaches palatable is incredibly depressing. 

So far, not a huge fan of Dos Passos. He's still got 300-odd pages to convert me, but it will take some doing.

So many annoying, non-academic tasks to do. It's horrible. I'm tempted to drop out and live in Justin's living room or something, but I know I'd...well, I was going to say I know I'd regret it, but I can't say that in all honesty, so instead I will say that I would surely get tired of sharing one shower with two dudes.

Sent Con's Valentine's gift today. He thinks he knows what it is, which is laughable. He has no idea. I'm curious whether he'll admit to being wrong or not when it arrives; I'm thinking of making him tell one of his roommates what he thinks it is for security. It's sad we won't be together, but I go down there like two weeks later (two weeks and one day, but who's counting?), so it's not so bad. It's funny...this is our third Valentine's Day knowing each other and our second together; I still have vivid memories of the first one, like a month before we started dating, when he was still with his old girlfriend. We spent the day together in a cafe, me writing in my journal while he worked on application essays for something, and then in the evening we saw a movie together. After the movie I waited in the street while he called his girlfriend from a phonebooth, smoking Gauloises and wanting him. When he hung up we wandered from St Michel to Chatelet, talking and sharing cigarettes until time ran out and we had to run to catch our trains home.

...now all I want is a cigarette and my boyfriend. And Paris. But I could live with just the middle one.

Spring better move me to *tears*

This weather is a bit much.

You know, the cold was tolerable for the most part. It wasn't as hard to cope with as I'd feared it would be, and aside from the days when my arch-nemesis, The Wind, was out in full force, I was fine. 

But then...then Madison brought out the last ten days of bullshit. A fire drill in -30 weather, a day that started off at 40 degrees and pleasant, turned to hail and horrible freezing rain, then plummeted to something like 10.  An out-and-out thaw complete with torrential rain, followed by a freeze, resulting in ice-covered sidewalks that were almost impossible to navigate. An *icequake* that registered on the Richter scale. And now this ridiculous snowstorm, which would be tolerable if A) Madison believed in efficient snow removal or B) the University had not been a jackass about canceling classes.

Anyhow.

I've been freaking-out-panicky lately, which blows, but at least I don't have Liquid Death or whatever it is Eric and Marshelle have. I miss Con. I have been going to the gym a shocking amount, and I think it's actually making me stronger (harder, better, etc). School continues to kick my ass.

And I miss my sister. Tons. Get your butt out here, Kit-Kat.

Alone in London

I'm listening to "Alone in Kyoto." I've liked this song for years, but now it has one of the strongest associations of any song I know. Each time I hear it I'm transported back to London, that evening I walked around the city by myself holding my old leather bag and taking it in. I most particularly see this one spot...near the Thames path but not quite on it, a bit past the Tate Modern. It was dark but everything was kind of...glowing. And I just listened to the song over and over again and felt...I felt like I was on the verge of my life, and I also felt incredibly composed inside. Which, considering the circumstances, is kind of remarkable.

That hour or so, walking through London in the dark after leaving the museum, is one of the best memories I have of last year. Because it's all mine - no one else can claim to have made it too. I was alone, but that's the very thing that made it beautiful.

...and now, after that little interlude, back to Shakespeare. Expect an update sometime soon about my most bizarre dream in awhile, a la Jim and Jamie. It's so hard to choose...my dream life is like Burton meets Gilliam meets The Hills. With some Eli Roth on special occasions.