This was the happiest weekend I can remember in a very long time.
Not necessarily the most exciting, or productive, or novel, but just happiest. I saw friends, I met new people, I did some work, I spent some great time with Andy, I cooked a tasty dinner, and I just felt...happy. I'm happy. After a year spent waffling between depression, denial and exhaustion, it's a wonderful feeling. I love reading again. I love my work. I am fulfilling one of my deepest personal passions - travel - in less than three weeks. And of course, there's Andy.
Friday - friends, baking, and entertaining. Saturday - relaxation, reading, productivity and a birthday party. Sunday - napping, more reading and rehearsal. And I've got a good lesson planned for tomorrow, and all (okay, most) (ok, way more than usual) of my reading done.
I'll take it. I'll definitely take it.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Content Despite Obstacles
I love my apartment.
And I think I'm going to make. After all, I always manage too.
Also, I've got so much to look forward to. And that make it so much easier.
And I think I'm going to make. After all, I always manage too.
Also, I've got so much to look forward to. And that make it so much easier.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Settling In
Well, the grind is here. Every semester I manage to forget that there's no easing into things in grad school - you start full steam and it just keeps going up. But I'm pretty content, actually.
My mixer continues to get far more exercise than me. I made white chocolate and oatmeal cookie for my class, and today I made my first attempt at bread. I'm not particularly optimistic about how it will turn out, but I know bread's tough. It'll take practice. And in the meantime, Andy can eat my imperfect loafs for breakfast.
I hate to say it, but it's true - I really miss my students from last semester. I was so lucky with that class, they were a great mix. Not that my class now is bad - the conferences I had to get to know them all a bit went pretty well. It's fascinating to me how some students display a totally different personality in informal conferences than they do in class. People who never talk in class, rarely smile, turn into these chatty, interesting characters. The most dramatic example of this was last semester - I had a student who would speak occasionally in class but generally was very reserved, but in small groups and conferences...he was completely different. Our conferences would sometimes run over time, he was so forthcoming. That's probably the thing I love most about teaching 100 - the chance to get to know my students that way. If I'd had that student in a Lit section, I might never have known how much he had to say.
I turned in my lease today. It's official - I am living here next year. I am NOT MOVING. This is like, monumental. I haven't lived in one place for more than 10 months in 6 years. It's such a nice feeling...and now I'm really going to trick the place out. Plant on the hook in the kitchen, curtains in the main room, a new stand for the TV...it's going to be a real home. I love my apartment so much.
I'm going to Columbia to meet Andy's family next weekend. I'm a little nervous, naturally, but that feeling is more or less lost under my excitement about seeing his niece. Goodness I love babies. She's a great age too, about 3 months - young enough to give you that "wow, what a tiny tiny person," but old enough to be a little fun.
I've also been chatting with the Marauders a fair bit about our upcoming reunion, which is exciting. I love planning and anticipating big trips. So fun. Looks like we might be doing some camping, actually, which I'm strangely excited about. Camping in England! Maybe near Tintern Abbey! Maybe we'll get stolen by elves or something!
This semester's going to be crazy. Bring it on.
My mixer continues to get far more exercise than me. I made white chocolate and oatmeal cookie for my class, and today I made my first attempt at bread. I'm not particularly optimistic about how it will turn out, but I know bread's tough. It'll take practice. And in the meantime, Andy can eat my imperfect loafs for breakfast.
I hate to say it, but it's true - I really miss my students from last semester. I was so lucky with that class, they were a great mix. Not that my class now is bad - the conferences I had to get to know them all a bit went pretty well. It's fascinating to me how some students display a totally different personality in informal conferences than they do in class. People who never talk in class, rarely smile, turn into these chatty, interesting characters. The most dramatic example of this was last semester - I had a student who would speak occasionally in class but generally was very reserved, but in small groups and conferences...he was completely different. Our conferences would sometimes run over time, he was so forthcoming. That's probably the thing I love most about teaching 100 - the chance to get to know my students that way. If I'd had that student in a Lit section, I might never have known how much he had to say.
I turned in my lease today. It's official - I am living here next year. I am NOT MOVING. This is like, monumental. I haven't lived in one place for more than 10 months in 6 years. It's such a nice feeling...and now I'm really going to trick the place out. Plant on the hook in the kitchen, curtains in the main room, a new stand for the TV...it's going to be a real home. I love my apartment so much.
I'm going to Columbia to meet Andy's family next weekend. I'm a little nervous, naturally, but that feeling is more or less lost under my excitement about seeing his niece. Goodness I love babies. She's a great age too, about 3 months - young enough to give you that "wow, what a tiny tiny person," but old enough to be a little fun.
I've also been chatting with the Marauders a fair bit about our upcoming reunion, which is exciting. I love planning and anticipating big trips. So fun. Looks like we might be doing some camping, actually, which I'm strangely excited about. Camping in England! Maybe near Tintern Abbey! Maybe we'll get stolen by elves or something!
This semester's going to be crazy. Bring it on.
Friday, January 30, 2009
This Time the Light's at the Beginning
I don't want to jinx myself, but I've got a really good feeling about this semester. I have an apartment I love that I don't have to move from for another 18 months, I am teaching a class I love to teach, my classes are both very very demanding and incredibly interesting, giving me the focus and challenge I need, I'm reconnecting with friends I thought were lost, and I'm crazy in love.
Oh, also I'm probably getting a cat, which I've wanted for years. And I have a sweet side job. And I'm going to see the Marauders in like 6 weeks. And I have a standing mixer. And about 13 more new episodes of Lost on the way.
It's not a bad setup. I'll definitely take it. The last few month have been rough, but suddenly...I feel much brighter about the future.* Even if that glow fades, it's still a nice way to reenter my life.
My life. This is my life now. And you know...I'm pretty happy about that.
* - Except for my incomplete in Caroline's class. Whenever I think about it, it's like a dark cloud over my happy singing world, like in that one really old Disney cartoon. I should probably take care of that before I ruin my career over it, huh?
...whatever. My life is still none too shabby - threatening unfinished paper on abolitionist poetry and all.
Oh, also I'm probably getting a cat, which I've wanted for years. And I have a sweet side job. And I'm going to see the Marauders in like 6 weeks. And I have a standing mixer. And about 13 more new episodes of Lost on the way.
It's not a bad setup. I'll definitely take it. The last few month have been rough, but suddenly...I feel much brighter about the future.* Even if that glow fades, it's still a nice way to reenter my life.
My life. This is my life now. And you know...I'm pretty happy about that.
* - Except for my incomplete in Caroline's class. Whenever I think about it, it's like a dark cloud over my happy singing world, like in that one really old Disney cartoon. I should probably take care of that before I ruin my career over it, huh?
...whatever. My life is still none too shabby - threatening unfinished paper on abolitionist poetry and all.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Kitchen Things
So as anyone who knows me can attest, if there's one thing I am not, as a rule, it's a perfectionist. I like things to get done, but I'm not fussed if they're not finished in the finest possible form they could be. For me, the pleasure is in finishing on time, not taking as long as needed to finish immaculately.
Except with baking, for some reason. I was reminded of this anomaly today, while trying to bake a cake to welcome Andy home. I mixed with painstaking slowness, making sure everything was perfect. I measured the baking soda 3 times, for goodness sake. But when I went to pour the batter into pans, I discovered that my mixer wasn't properly calibrated, and that a bunch of butter/sugar hadn't been beaten in. Despite my efforts to fix it, the cakes came out dense, overdone at the edges and just generally Not Great.
So I made them again. From scratch. And this time (I suspect due to my incredibly awful oven) they cooked OK, but mounded up terribly. And I'm fighting the urge to make them AGAIN, even though it's already 10:30.
Why am I so demanding about my baking? It's not just cakes, it's everything. And it's weird. I'll pass in a paper that's only meh, something that affects my career potentially, but I won't serve slightly overdone cake to my own boyfriend. It's like my domestic gene is working overtime to compensate for the Lost Years.
Except with baking, for some reason. I was reminded of this anomaly today, while trying to bake a cake to welcome Andy home. I mixed with painstaking slowness, making sure everything was perfect. I measured the baking soda 3 times, for goodness sake. But when I went to pour the batter into pans, I discovered that my mixer wasn't properly calibrated, and that a bunch of butter/sugar hadn't been beaten in. Despite my efforts to fix it, the cakes came out dense, overdone at the edges and just generally Not Great.
So I made them again. From scratch. And this time (I suspect due to my incredibly awful oven) they cooked OK, but mounded up terribly. And I'm fighting the urge to make them AGAIN, even though it's already 10:30.
Why am I so demanding about my baking? It's not just cakes, it's everything. And it's weird. I'll pass in a paper that's only meh, something that affects my career potentially, but I won't serve slightly overdone cake to my own boyfriend. It's like my domestic gene is working overtime to compensate for the Lost Years.
Welcome Back to Wisconsin!
It's 1.4 degrees and mockingly sunny as well. With a blizzard warning for tomorrow.
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